Hi! This is more of a personal and opening up post. For anyone who knows me knows I’m the most quiet and shy person ever. I have always been like that since I was little. It takes me the longest time to open up and some people don’t take that time so then they probably think of reasons why that aren’t even the reasons why.
Recently, I have been told that I am hard to talk to. I already know this. My people skills need improvement, major improvement. I am trying but its difficult for me. It may be easy for some but for me it’s like trying to break down a brick wall that doesn’t want to be broken. I have been questioned about my career path due to the fact I am shy and quiet. My career path requires talking to people. Now my mind has been questioning my career path which is pushing whatever I need to do to go forward with getting my degree. I wasn’t questioning it till it was brought up.
Now, public speaking is my worst fear. I HATE public speaking. I will do anything to get out of talking in front of a classroom. Everytime before I have to present, my hands are shaky, can feel my heart beat increasing, and felt like puking. The most extreme would be crying once I try to talk to. I’m pretty sure that isn’t normal. I try talking to someone about it but this person basically said that me being shy has become a habit. See I always saw it as a personality trait or I would grow out of it which isn’t the case obviously. I got put off by that and didn’t went back. The most stupid reason to stop going but I felt like I was being told being shy is a bad thing. I never been told it was a bad thing because my friends have comes to term with it. Being shy has its struggle I will say that.
I have been wondering why I always feel like puking, heartbeat is beating a million times per minute, shaky hands, and sometimes feelings like I can’t breathe every time I am at work. Well actually this has been happening a lot more lately not just at work. To be honest, I don’t even know what’s causing it. This is where I know I should see someone about this but a part of me doesn’t like seeing the doctor or scheduling the appointment.
I think this post is too long, maybe. I should probably have split it into 2 parts but it didn’t feel right to do that. I hope everyone enjoy this different post. This post wasn’t the easiest to write about but I did it.
See you in the next one,